Family Role Models

Family Role Models

Adults who were raised in dysfunctional families frequently experience difficulties forming and maintaining intimate relationships, maintaining a positive self-esteem, and trusting others.

They fear loss of control, deny their feelings and reality, and present symptoms of codependence.

Codependence might be defined as one person supporting or enabling another person’s addiction, immaturity or irresponsible behavior.  

Dysfunctional Family Attachments

There are four types of dysfunctional or ‘traumatic’ family systems. All are fertile breeding grounds for learning codependent behavior.

• The Alcoholic or Chemically Dependent Family System
• The Emotionally or Psychologically Disturbed Family System
• The Physically or Sexually Abusing Family System
• The Religious Fundamentalist or Rigidly Dogmatic Family System

The ability to identify the role we’ve played within a dysfunctional family system can prove to be a powerful tool in improving our life relationships.

There are five roles. Each role subconsciously wants something.

Role Model ‘Wants’

• The ADDICT/MANIPULATOR wants to turn their needs to their own advantage
• The HERO wants to save themself
• The LOST CHILD wants to be found
• The SCAPEGOAT wants relief from the prison of the mind
• The ABANDONED CHILD wants absolution

Recovery from acting out each role requires diagnosis of the role and an understanding of what each role needs.

Role Model ‘Needs’

• The ADDICT/MANIPULATOR needs authenticity
• The HERO needs surrender
• The LOST CHILD needs maturation
• The SCAPEGOAT needs salvation
• The ABANDONED CHILD needs forgiveness

In my experience, abandoned children are closest to the lies of the family and scapegoats are closest to the truth.